Monday, January 25, 2010

Fresh Tears

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. " ~Author Unknown

When it comes to family, we try our best to bring them happiness. To nurture, teach, and provide them with all things to make their life more comfortable and satisfying. It is our nature to want to protect them. Watch their steps closely. Keep them within a safe distance- always ready to catch them when they fall.
But, I've come to realize that they don't always want to be caught. That sometimes you just have to let them fall.
Because until they skin their knees and tear their clothes and lose their way-they will never understand your warnings. They will never appreciate the hand you hold out for them- or the pain your heart feels by watching them fall.
"Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. " ~J.K. Rowling *****
One relationship in my life that I treasure the most, is the one with my sister Linda. We grew up thick as thieves and inseparable- rarely fighting, content on sharing, and steadfast companions.
There was a gap in our closeness- those years we raised our children- worked to keep our household together- lived in different towns- stretched our wings and flew away from that tight circle of home.
But somehow, the path led back to one another. We became acquainted again- as women- mothers- people who had different interests and unique families to share.
We were always there for one another in good times and bad. Always ready to listen, to help, to give advice where needed.
Yet, I have recently learned that sometimes she can't listen, doesn't need my help-
and I'm unable to give her advice about something I know nothing of.
Divorce is like the sweet family dog that suddenly attacks you- and runs off with half your heart.
But she's not letting the dog go. She keeps running after it.
"Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again? " ~Rosa Parks
There is nothing worse than watching someone you love suffer.
Linda's heartbreak has become mine. The despair and sadness of her life has crept into my life... into the folds of my days like spilled ink. To hear her heart cry out, mine heart has also wept. To see her anger flare, has also ignited mine.
But just like the saying "Friends don't let friends drive drunk"...Well, sisters don't let sisters wallow in the mud without helping them up and rinsing them off.
I just wish I knew how to do that.
"Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us." ~Voltaire
I do know that Linda is a strong person.That divorce will not make her weaker or worse or half of something.
Sometimes it is adversity that makes us better. That opens our eyes- that hushes away the blindness and the illusions.
She has just got to believe in herself.
She keeps trying to look down the road a hundred miles- and wonders how she'll ever make it that far.
One step at a time. One day at a time.
She's missing today's sunrise because she's looking at tomorrow's clouds.

"I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every other part of my body is broken too." ~Missy Altijd
I can't begin to know her feelings. I can't walk in her shoes, wake up in her bed- live her daily life. It is that fact that disturbs and depresses me. I am helpless.
It seems all I can do is just stand and watch her drown. None of my lifesavers work. All ropes fail. Bridges collapse.
She keeps tearing the net.
But I'm still on the shore, Linda. Listening. Loving. Waiting. Hoping that you'll finally head to shore and delight at the sand between your toes again and the sun on your face.
It's gonna happen.
I promise.
"That was rough.... Thing to do now is try and forget it.... I guess I don't quite mean that. It's not a thing you can forget. Maybe not even a thing you want to forget.... Life's like that sometimes... Now and then for no good reason a man can figure out, life will just haul off and knock him flat, slam him agin' the ground so hard it seems like all his insides is busted. But it's not all like that. A lot of it's mighty fine, and you can't afford to waste the good part frettin' about the bad. That makes it all bad.... Sure, I know - sayin' it's one thing and feelin' it's another. But I'll tell you a trick that's sometimes a big help. When you start lookin' around for something good to take the place of the bad, as a general rule you can find it. " ~From the movie Old Yeller

Today's Five Things:
1. Movie popcorn
2. A good book
3. Flannel sheets
4. Phone calls
5. A new paintbrush