Friday, January 8, 2010

Carpe Diem- Seize The Day!

"Don't refuse to go on an occasional wild goose chase - that's what wild geese are for. " ~Author Unknown

One of the ten areas of my life that I've chosen to improve upon, is adventure. And sometimes it seems to me that it may be the most difficult.
It's like walking into the unknown. Going blind. Doing things I don't normally do or that are not currently in my zone of comfort.
It requires going outside of my mold and expanding my horizons.
And it used to mean- amusement parks!
My kids know that the last place on earth they would ever find me is on a roller coaster. Or a Ferris wheel, for that matter.
Any object that spins, oscillates, flips,curves, or flies - and you are expected to ride it, climb it or hold it-
Well... forget it.
I think I've finally figured out that my sense of fear outweighs my sense of adventure by a few gazillion miles.

"It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways,
but it's that place in between that we fear . . . .
It's like being between trapezes.
It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer.
There's nothing to hold
on to." - Marilyn Ferguson

But now that I am older and my kids are grown, I look back and wish that I could have the chance again to ride the Runaway Mine Train or the spinning tea cups.
I wish I could go back and hold their hands as we slowly ascend the roller coaster-
and then fly downhill with a face-altering scream.
I wish I could go back and share their laughter as they faced white water rapids in their giant tubes or raced go karts till the place closed for the night.
But, that's the thing about fear. It keeps you from adventure.
And some adventures-
no matter how hard you may try to reenact them-
will never come again.
" Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways. " ~Stephen Vincent Benét


I've vowed to be more adventurous this year, but I'm not so naive that I don't realize I will have to take small bites at first. I can't be expected to jump into the deep water when I can't even swim- or run a marathon when I can barely walk to the mailbox without getting winded.
I'm going to try the small stuff first, And, like they say- don't sweat it.
(I'll try not to).
I'll try to think of these first steps as though they lead up the mountain-
and once I get to the top, I can fly.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson

I've never tried sushi.
Never been on a plane.
Never been in a tanning booth, had a manicure or a pedicure, or learned to make pie crusts.
I've never traveled out west, grown an herb garden, or took up knitting.
I've never read the whole Bible, The Grapes of Wrath, or the entire Twilight series.
I've never eaten snails, had a Facebook page, or sat on a beach at sunset.
I realize that my "I've Never" list is so much longer than my "I Have" list.
"As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do." ~Zachary Scott

My fear of flying has kept me from imagining vacations in exotic places. Lately, I think about how big this world really is- and how little- how tiny- my space is. To die and not know the world almost sounds like a sin. Is that not why God made it?
For us to enjoy- to explore- to relish in it's beauty?
I am beginning to think I could survive being seat belted into a jet-if it meant seeing the Grand Canyon, walking through pineapple groves in Hawaii, or getting to the cruise ship on time.
Because I know that someday I may be all alone- wishing I could go back and do it.
That I could hold my husbands hand as we slowly descend the canyon on a donkey- and trot downhill with a face-altering scream...
I may wish I had seen the eagles fly, the buffalo roam, the starfish shine upon a beach of peachy sand.
I may wish I had touched the clouds, tasted the wind, and faced my fears.

"Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them." ~Brendan Francis


If someone could promise you that you would not be hurt, get killed or laughed at or lost- would you do those things you fear?
I would.
If it were as easy as tying my shoes, I would already be in Vegas.
Just arriving from the airport and ordering sushi.
Fresh and vibrant in a dress and heels.
With a new manicure.

"Worry gives a small thing a big shadow". - Swedish proverb

So, this year, I'll be taking small bites. Tiny tastes of the unknown. Timid peeks at the monster under my bed.
Who knows? Someday you may find me swimming with the dolphins...


"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can." ~Danny Kaye

Today's Five Grateful Things:
1. Noodles
2. Fabric softener
3. Snow tires
4. Clocks
5. Hot showers