Friday, February 5, 2010

Love Notes

Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single. ~Author Unknown
Men are funny creatures. It is amazing to me that they have the same number of fingers and toes that a woman does. Because at times they seem so alien- so vastly opposite from the female- that I am certain all relationships must be miracles.
They are the divine labor of God. There's no other explanation why the two sexes come together, love, marry, and multiply.
But they say there is someone for everyone. And that all matches are made in heaven.
Good thing.
Or I would have never looked twice at my husband.
Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart.
~Author Unknown

At nineteen, I wasn't really looking for love. I was looking for my wings. Which meant fun, weekend parties, beer, rock and roll music, friends and- did I mention fun?
I suppose in the back of my mind, I had a rough idea of what I wanted in a man- what type of husband I would choose if that choice ever presented itself.
Of course, he would be handsome. Ride a white horse. Sweep me off my feet.
We would gallop away into the sunset.
Happy Rich.
And Crazy in Love.

We choose those we like; with those we love, we have no say in the matter.
~Mignon McLaughlin


But, he came in jeans and a pony tail. Tan, smiling, in an old blue Datsun with his German Shepherd, Abe.
He caught my eye, but I did not consider him a possible love interest.
That was-
not until he considered it first...
You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip. ~Jonathan Carroll, "Outside the Dog Museum"
I loved his smile. His eyes. And his edgy humor.
But he came with baggage. An Ex. A child. A dog.
A hundred vinyl LP's, tie dye, and Earth Shoes.
But after our first date, all I saw was his good heart.
And it didn't hurt a bit that he was a good kisser.
Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker. ~Author Unknown

After four months of dating, we were married.
See- I told you that God works miracles. And this one has lasted almost 35 years.
Which only goes to say- keep your eyes open to possibilities. Love may come when you least expect it, from where you least expect it. It may be completely different than the dream you had or the image you created, but when it happens -you will know.
You will miss him in minutes. Laugh at his stupid jokes. Spend money on clothes and perfume to attract him. Forsake your friends and learn to like sports.
Consider his history, but say anyway- "Come on- I love you regardless."
And you'll mean it.
To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault
I realize that finding love is the easy part. Keeping it gets rough.
It means having to say you're sorry a thousand times. But also being able to forgive just as many.
It is a daily effort to keep it alive. There has to be a lot of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation,
heart palpitations, fever, and compatibility...  And drug one another with kindness.
It's like a car- when it starts getting rusty you have to oil it. Change the tires once in awhile. Shine it up real good when it gets a little ugly.
(And, baby- keep on honkin' the horn! )
Real love will get you down the road a billion miles or more- and never even look at another car.
Love doesn't sit there like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all of the time, made new. ~Ursula K. LeGuin
I treasure my husband as though he were part of me. And I thank God everyday for being an excellent matchmaker.
There will always be obstacles, differences, and seeds of darkness in a marriage.
If you build bridges of communication, the obstacles can be washed away.
If you are open to suggestions, changes, or agreements- the differences can be shortened.
And if you plant plenty of sunshine, those bad seeds will never germinate.

He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began. ~Leo Tolstoy
I am not an expert on marriage. I don't claim to know the secrets of happily ever after.
But I do know it doesn't come together without mutual discipline.
I know that sometimes silence can be the knife that slices the sharpest.
So, today I am going to tell my husband how much I love him, respect him and appreciate him.
The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost. ~G.K. Chesterton
None of us are perfect, and therefore, cannot have perfect lives. But we can all work harder to make the lives we have a little better. Sweeter. Funner.
Even if these alien men have captured our hearts and taken over the remote control!

In marriage....
May you always see the sunshine through the clouds.
Brown hair beneath the gray.
A great supper on the dollar menu.
A beautiful dance in an awkward stumble.
A happy face on the pillow next to yours.
An opportunity in a rain storm.
A spark amid adversity.
A miracle in your man.

Happy Valentines Day!!!

When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks. ~Natalie Clifford Barney
Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. ~Author unknown